An Upload Experiment (guitar video)

This is a simple lesson sayeth the player. I've just uploaded this as an experiment. Took a while but it worked.

Tom Paine

Scratch Your Brain

THE ANAL TRAVELER WITH THE ITCHY BRAIN
You just left the Larry Craig restroom at the airport. Now don't dwell on this too much but think of what you certainly have picked up on the bottoms of your shoes (in addition to whatever else might have been there already). This might include small amounts of fecal matter, urine, spit, etc. Why, when walking the dog this morning you might have -never mind. You can take it to the bank-that horrible stuff is there. But it's on the bottom of your shoes so you don't half mind. Nothing you can do about it anyway. And you do have some control over this. Whoops! You're going to lose control. Going through TSA airport security, you put your shoes in a grey basket used by thousands before you. Your shoes along with other things you use. You may now consider them contaminated by an ocean of microscopic (some chunks maybe) vileness. Comfortably boxed in on the aircraft you start thinking about your exposure to God knows what. What might these other people have stepped in? You think of the possibilities. You feel itchy. You scratch here and you scratch there. Why, even your brain feels itchy. You try hard not to think of the horrible filth that has now become part of you. Think instead of a running stream...whoops again. Never mind. Relax, treat yourself to that sandwich. Arrrgh! Your hands, your hands! Oh have at it; scratch your brain

Tom Paine

BLOODED AND READY TO TAKE CHARGE

While campaigning in the Pennsylvania primary, Hillary spoke of her duck hunting experience and she drank whiskey with locals.

God what a wonderful feeling shooting a sweet free bird from a blue sky. She grabbed another still bird from the dog and quickly broke its neck and gutted it throwing warm slop into brackish water. Love the kick of the gun, love the blood and guts. God it's good!After, some whiskey with the rest of the locals from the local DOR (Daughters of Rest), that wonderful group of registered retired older women who too challenged the status quo and realized killing sweet free birds some of whom might be mothers too wasn't a wanton act-it was a meaningful empowering one. So they killed free sweet birds, drank whiskey, and celebrated knowing that one of them might some day be the big gun in a big city.

The next morning she went to KFC and ate chicken meat with her hands and wiped her mouth on her shoulder and didn't care if the dopey bird might have been undercooked. Bosnia, the ducks; yes she was tested and ready. "Bring it on."
(Bring It On copyright by Dubya)

Tom Paine

On Misspeaking

YOUNG GEORGE WASHINGTON: ""Father I cannot tell a lie. It was I who chopped down the cherry tree. I misspoke."
FATHER: "Son, you have spoken presidentially and some day you will be our first; for to lie is human but to misspeak is presidential."

Tom Paine

Of Blood, Of Red

Debacle of governance upon us now.
Phantom bullets in Bosnia portend the same.
Prologue now mimes prologue past.
The lie on the hustings less arrogant than desperate, still a lie.
Beware the deceit: a reddened bill of goods for bullets not fired.

Tom Paine

Bosnia Mon Amour

We are developing a line of clothes and accessories called HILLARY. Our first collection, "BOSNIA 1996," will include pant suits available in four camouflage designs -one for each season. Camou fabric helmets wlll have several faux bullet holes -a reminder of Bosnia 1996. The excitement continues with beachwear consisting of camou robes and towels and risque camou swimwear. It gets better. They said it couldn't be done but we've designed HILLARY footwear to complement that special HILLARY evening gown -an open toed combat boot with a modest lift. Oh ecstasy! And yes, we have a new perfume designed to capure the attention of that special man; the secret -a scent of burnt gunpowder incorporated into our "Evening in Bosnia." The perfume bottle will be evocative of a bullet. One accessory certain to be much in demand is the camou plastic bracelet intended as a reminder of Hillary's exposure to sniper fire in Bosnia. Watch for news of our upcoming runway presentation. Think of our models running and zig zagging down the runway with the sound of bullets whizzing through the air. Our audience will have the opportunity to throw little packs of faux blood at our models as they pass by. And finally, a pinup poster (wallet size will probably be better) depicitng Hillary in one of our "Bosnia 1996" outfits which our troops can gaze at as a reminder of she who shared their deadly experiences taking sniper fire. They'll love it! Just love it

Tom Paine